Starbucks, what happened to you?

It used to be my favorite coffee caffe when I lived in Seattle. The smell of a fresh grind, the cozy leather arm chairs, the warm glow of a fireplace and great jazz. I would read, then write in my journal, watch the customers and sip my double espresso with steamed breva. I was content to be wrapped in one of many perfect moments. Often, a person sitting close would comment on something I was reading or I would make reference outloud about how good the coffee tastes or "isn't it a lovely day" and a conversation would ensue. Beautiful memories of a simpler time. No cell phones, no iPads, books and journals were the things you treasured. I loved the covers, the lined paper redolent of an old bookstore.

But alas, in life there are no constants. Thing change.  Now the cafes have moved out the comfy chairs replaced with hard chairs and tables, they don't grind beans each time they make a beverage, they don't pull shots and most every order looks more like whip cream dessert with maybe a little coffee in it to fill up the cup.

People with heads down, no eye contact, barely a smile. We have created a society the doesn't connect with one another, but insists on sitting among one another. Why? Just stay home. Coffee is cheaper, no lines, no distractions. I make a better espresso than most cafes in Boise except Cafe 'darte. My bread is fresh baked, my spreads are all organic, my soups are homemade, I can build a huge fire and do not have to fight to get a window seat. There must be a reason why people still show up at these watering holes. We must need the connection, but when we have the opportunity we don't look up, unless it is a friend you haven't seen for awhile who shows up. Nice surprise, so you sit across from one another checking your phones in between conversations about themselves. When was the last time your friend has asked you how you are doing and then takes a moment to listen to what you have to share, before starting in on their own wild and captivating adventures with way too much detail. Before you answer just a minute, I got a text and need to respond right now.

 Don't get me wrong I like my iPad and iphone too, but I like people more, or I did until social media set a new standard of antisocial behavior.

Human Being

Day off today. Fire inside today. I love the warmth of the fire and the feeling safe in my home.

Learned something this weekend.

I have been very tired for months, but had a long weekend, so I thought I would take a trip out of town. After getting up early to get all the things done I needed to do around the house, doctor apps, lawn care, laundry, food shopping, etc. before I left, I then preparing for the trip, it was afternoon, by the time I got everything done. Now it is too late to just take a day trip, better pack a sleeping bag, no places available to stay where I am going, so wasn't sure if I was sleeping in a  tent or on someone's floor. Will figure it out when I get there I thought.

Now my back ached, I was hungry and totally worn out. Drove part way to Mountain Home (a lovely drive), turned around, came home, unpacked (took a lot less time) and took a nap. I enjoyed the rest of the day doing nothing.

So, here's the lesson, I decided to stop pushing myself, I can't keep up anymore. I surrender! I want to be a human being not a human doing (first time I heard that it was from my dear friend JoLinda many years ago). It still resonates with me.

I thought why can't I do this anymore?

When I was playing music I had a lot of free time to do take trips and do work on my art and music projects, but full time work changes all that as most of you know, unless you are retired (good for you), So, the gift I give myself now is relaxation and time to contemplate how blessed I am, cooking at home and writing and walks along our beautiful river. Don't have to drive far to experience great Nature walks, etc.

Fall days always makes me feel the most at peace. Maybe it is the cool mornings and how the Sun takes on a warmer glow as it changes its position in the sky from summer to fall.

So, for me over this long weekend has reminded me once again to take it easy, It's not a competition. I don't have to keep up. I am happy in a state of not doing!

Thanks for listening or not. That's okay too! 😉.
Have a beautiful day all!

Clean for a Day!

Well, I did it! I got through the screening everyone dreads. The cleansing that makes you starve for a day an a half and forces you to drink a gallon of what I now like to refer to as Gatorlax.

Lemonade will never taste the same to me again. Lemons should never have to affiliate with Gatorade. And the not eating, how much fun is that? I can get busy and forget to eat until the afternoon on a work day, but tell me I can't eat for 24 hrs, and I am starving at 6:00 am.

I chose to prep on Super Bowl Sunday, so every other minute a food commercial was staring me in the face, reminding me of how delicious pizza taste with a cold microbrew. I was sipping chicken broth at the time and for a moment I though I smelled garlic wafting from my cup. The mind plays terrible tricks on you. I stared at my dog watching her eat her breakfast and wondering if dog food would count as real food. They didn't say anything in the instructions about not eating kibble. But, I guess those little crunchy morsels might end up looking like polps, so I distracted myself with a mango flavoured popcycle.

 At hour number eight, my stomach started making noises that sound like the mating call of a Howler Monkey. Then the pounding of the 32 oz of liquid begins every ten minutes until you finish the bottle. You wait and then in a dramatic moment the cleaning begins. Run! Don't look back.

"Get out of the way," I scream at the dog who had decided to take a nap in front of the door between me and loo. Whew! Okay, I can do this!  So, I went to bed early, though the process continued. I fell asleep for an hour then I was up again for at 4:00am for round two of my very own Super Bowl.

Morning finally came, my sis-in-law arrived to pick me up. We chatted for a bit, and then my dog decided to throw up right before we headed out the door. Oh did I mention that I was having muscle pain in my hip, so grabbing the dog and getting her outside was not something I was going to be able to do without a good hip for leverage. My sis got ahold of the pup and got her outside. I was on my knees cleaning up the mess and wondering if this was a some indication of how the rest of my day was going to go.

We made it on time, though finding the clinic was also a fun adventure.  I guess they like to build digestive clinics off  the main roads, so that passers by aren't reminded every time they head to work that a screening is in their future. This one, of course, was buried behind a Starbucks and a Mexican restaurant, so again with the food references.

I registered and was escorted to my cubby where I was instructed to remove everything but my bra and put on a gown. "Please leave the back open,"Candy the surgical nurse told me. "Okay!" I said, "Didn't know you could close the back of a hospital gown. Why the bra stays on made me wonder, do
they think having breasts unencumbered might be a distraction to the doctor. Could they not see that my perky breasts could not possible hinder his efforts during the exam especially since he'd be working mostly at the other end?

The nurse came in and I told her my veins roll. She said not on my watch! She stabbed me with the needle, hooked me up to the IV, then off we went full tilt to the examination room. I told the doc to "please be kind to my behind" and then I was asked to count backwards from 100. So, I started 100, 9...

I woke up. It seemed that only a few minutes had passed. It was all over. Food, was the first thing on my mind. Didn't care about the results, didn't care about my back pain, didn't care that I had my boots on the wrong feet, just get me a waffle and coffee! I ate with voracious enthusiasm, savouring ever bite.  Then the bill came and after a brief review, I said, "$15.00 for one waffle, two eggs and coffee? Wow! Now that's a reeming I'll never forget."

Baileys and Coffee

What says winter better than Baileys and Coffee? Nothing.

Absurd Meter

I have two followers now. They seem to like my mental meanderings. Laughter heals, we all know that.  We also know how much better we feel when we can laugh at the absurdities we endure each day. Right now the absurd meter is having to recalibrate to even get a read out.  
Off the charts absurd theses days. So, in an effort to work within this state of being, I am going to wash my hair.

Thighs

Today I have decided not to think about my thighs or the thickness that has formed around my middle. I am 61; however, so these kind of body changes are bound to happen. I am not overweight by my standards.  I can fit into a size 8 or 10 depending on who the designer is. Unfortunately, the world see a size 10 as a Bootress, Bootress GOLLY, kind of a woman that should stay home, never go out in public especially in leggings.

But today, despite what the world says, I am choosing to be happy with my body the way it is.  Did I tell you I have been trying to find an exercise routine for the last six years and I have finally given up?  Besides, who gives a flip what the flippin world thinks anyway. (Note: the bitter tone in the last flippin' sentence. I wish to use a more exact expletive, but my mama told me not to talk that way in public. )

Oh! Did I mention that the “world” I am referring to is that group of men that seem to have the power to make the ultimate decisions on what defines female beauty. And one more thing, did I mention that I have really curly hair that I have to straighten with a hot iron everyday, so I don’t look like Carrot Top without props, and that I have never been married  (my choice by the way, just so you don’t think that I am totally undesirable.)  Wow!  Hard to fathom isn’t it?  I am telling you, the work I have to put in everyday. Makes a girl want to run naked and shout, "Take a look at this. I haven't had any work done, can you tell"?

So, I will focus on the things that bring me joy. Frost on the trees, river walks, great art, the smell of freshly pulled espresso, a good whine. I won't focus on things that bring me down---like gyms. (I am back on the exercise rant.) I am not turned on by the smell of sweat in an enclosed area surround by latex, headsets, bowflex and thick necks. However, I do enjoy the subtle yet intoxication aroma of Old Spice on a a sweaty man, but, unfortunately, they aren't in the gyms these days, they are in retirement homes--my next stop. Care to join me?  Bring your yoga mat and get ready to do Down Dog.  Sit Boo Boo sit.

Meanwhile four years later

It was brought to my attention, in an email from a friend, that since it has taken a long time for me to finish my book "Playing To The End," I should start a blog and post my essays, so I would feel like I was making some progress, since this little project has been a work in progress for 8 years. I thought she might be on to something. Then I remembered, I had started a blog right after the passing of my Mother known to some as Mama Drama. So, I typed in my name and there it was--my blog. I called it "Of a Sensitive Nature."

I think I need a new title.  Until I come up with one, I will call this blog "Overly Enthusiastic Perfectionist" and begin posting my essays. Besides it will save on paper. But, I still want to hold my book in my hands one day and sign copies to give to friends. I want to stand around at a cocktail party and tell everyone I'm an author. I want Oprah to call me and tell me she was moved by my writing. I want to know she relates. I want her to buy me a car too, but that has nothing to do with this rambling.  I want to see my book on a shelf at a bookstore, if there are any left by the time I finish this project. So, yes Leslie (the woman who wrote  the email suggesting I start a blog) I think a blog is an excellent idea.  I am ahead of the game, however; I already have one, so I will begin at the beginning after I take a nap.